Happy Monday.
Last Friday I talked about temptation and how sometimes I deal with it better than others. I also shared how God is faithful, not allowing us to be tempted beyond what we can bear. (1 Cor. 10:13).
I was reminded of a story from my childhood. At this time, I had a knowledge of God and a tender conscience. I would not accept Christ as my Savior for many years but God was clearly working in my heart, even then. I’ve never forgotten this story:
Returning from recess, we took off our shoes and set them beside the door of our classroom. In Miss Cupid’s third grade (don’t ya just love that name?), we’d been studying about the Japanese culture. Today was officially designated as “Japanese Day.” We were so excited because ours was the only third grade class who would be eating authentic Japanese food for lunch instead of the boring peanut butter and jelly sandwiches which generally graced our lunch boxes.
We each sat in a circle while Miss Cupid set out her frying pan and various utensils. She then opened a small plastic bowl of marinated steak and gently began sautéing. A few moments later she added the vegetables to complete here Teriyaki stir fry. I was so hungry and the meal smelled wonderful.
And yet, the moment I saw Miss Cupid toss in the steak, I grew sad. As a Catholic, at least back then, we didn’t eat meat of Friday. Today was Friday. I knew I could eat the vegetables but I loved steak and I wanted it.
All the while the meal cooked, I could only think about how much I wanted my steak. There wasn’t a lot, and I knew we wouldn’t each get that many pieces. But we each would get some and I wanted it so bad. I resolved in my heart, I would not eat it. I just wouldn’t.
Finally, my teacher transferred the stir fry into a glass bowl where she’d already prepared the rice and handed it to the first student, where he took a small portion then passed the bowl on to the next. When the bowl had made it half way around the circle, I turned to the boy next to me, who I also knew was Catholic. Too bad we can’t eat the meat, huh, David? Oh, it’s okay, he said. I’ll just go to confession on Sunday.
Wait a minute, I thought. That can’t be right. Seems I’m supposed to at least try to do the right thing from the start, not deliberately do the wrong thing, thinking that apologizing afterward was enough to make it okay. So when the bowl passed to me, somehow I managed to take only the vegetables and rice but didn’t take a single piece of meat. I then passed the bowl to David. Without hesitation, he scooped up some of the meat. I had a hard time with that. We had the same beliefs and yet I let the meat pass and he didn’t. Again, it wasn’t that I didn’t understand that we all make mistakes. What troubled me was that he thought going to confession afterwards made it okay to do this.
Now, though, I began to rationalize. Maybe it was okay after all. And yet, how can something be not okay one minute and then suddenly become okay simply because I want to do it really bad? My little eight-year-old conscience was taking a beating.
After we all had a small portion, there was enough left over so Miss Cupid passed the bowl around again. This time, I decided, when the bowl came to me, I would take some steak this time. I just wasn’t strong enough to say no two times! And yet, when the bowl passed to me, all that was left was rice and vegetables. No steak!
Years later as I began to study my Bible, I learned there was no Biblical restriction against eating meat on Friday. Yet obviously, my purpose in sharing this story is not to speak despairingly again Catholicism or any other denomination.
The reason why the story stuck with me all these years is this. I tried to do the right thing according to my conscience at that time and I did do the right thing. But when the temptation simply proved too strong for me the second time around, and I knew I couldn’t make the right choice again, God removed the temptation. Now I didn’t think in such terms back then as an eight-year-old. In fact I do remember being a little disappointed by the time the bowl came to me.
Yet in my heart I really felt like God had done me a favor. And when you think about it, isn’t that what God’s grace is? Always giving us a break when we don’t deserve it, forever wanting to just do us a favor?
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13)