When I Remember

Wednesday already. Summer will soon be officially here!

Maybe it’s my mood or maybe I just feel like offering up something on the lighter side today. In any case, I was thinking about our call as Christians to love unconditionally and how hard that can be sometimes.

Yet, I think that life could be considerably brighter if folks made it a point to simply be polite. Forget laying down your life for someone (well, don’t forget it if the occasion arises), but don’t you think that just saying “hello,” “please and thank you” and “excuse me,” could go a long way in easing the stress and strain of someone’s life in the course of a day? I sure notice it when someone’s courteous to me. Or not. I feel a little more honored when someone slows down at the crosswalk as I approach instead of racing through before they technically “have to.” Or when someone yields a parking spot to me if we arrive at the same time, though she could have taken it. Such simple expressions mean so much. This common grocery store exchange has been such an opportunity for me:

“Will this be debit or credit?” “Credit, thank you.”

Would you like some help out with this?” “No, but thanks for asking.”

No major sacrifice here but it feels like the right thing to do, and it makes me feel good. On days that seem especially hard or unfair, when I don’t feel like I have a lot to give, I derive great pleasure from being extra polite. I suppose that sounds silly, but it’s true. I guess because it helps take the focus off of me and it recognizes someone else. And it generally yields an immediate payoff of someone’s smile. And, it just wasn’t that hard.

In light of these thoughts, I will close by sharing some of my favorite manner rhymes from a most delightful children’s book entitled, Pass the Peas, Please: A Book of Manners. (Dina Anastasio and Katy Rock Arnsteen and RGA Pub. Group, New York ©1988)

If you’re angry at a friend,
Don’t punch or kick or shout.
Go for a walk and count to ten.
Then try to work it out.

It’s hard to keep a secret,
But secret telling’s wrong.
Remember, friends who blab too much
Aren’t friends for very long.

If your neighbor won’t stop talking
And you feel a yawn come on,
Put your mouth behind your fingers,
Until your yawn is gone.

When you’re outside playing soccer,
And kick someone in the knee,
Don’t tell him that he’s in your way,
Say, “Sorry. Pardon me.”

When you see someone who’s different,
Don’t laugh. It isn’t fair.
He might think you are different,
But he doesn’t point and stare.”

When your sister gets a bicycle
and you just get a kite,
Don’t say, “You like her better!”
Say, “Thank you. It’s just right.”

If a friend is having trouble,
And he falls and gives a yelp,
Don’t laugh or point or call him names,
Say, “Are you hurt?” and “May I help?”

No one likes to lose a game,
But if you must, you must.
So if you lose, shake hands and say,
“We’ll play again, I trust.”

When you’re going to a movie,
And the line is two blocks long,
Don’t butt in front. Go to the end.
Then calmly hum a song.

Okay, that’s enough for now. Aren’t these great? I think I could write a few of my own.

Blessings all today!

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

Monday so soon? Hope y’all had a terrific weekend.

Tonight is the last class in my “Believing God“ Bible study by Beth Moore.* What a terrific study it has been.

From the first day, Beth offered a five-statement pledge of faith that became the framework for our commitment to learning to believe God more than we ever had before:

God is who He says He is.
God can do what He says He can do.
I am who God says I am.
I can do all things through Christ.
God’s Word is alive and active in me.

When we studied the third statement, “I am who God says I am,” she reminded us of six glorious facts from Ephesians 1:

I am blessed. (v. 3)
I am chosen. (v. 4)
I am adopted. (v. 5)
I am accepted. (v. 6)
I am redeemed. (v. 7)
I am forgiven. (v. 7)

And at the center of all these incomprehensible and glorious truths is the fact that we are loved by God.

This study is so rich and there were weeks I couldn’t invest the time in the homework as I wanted. There were some chapters that to benefit fully required much thinking, praying, and writing. Now this is definitely up my alley so I’ll be returning to this study throughout the summer, camping on those sections where I glossed over the first time.

In this final lesson, Beth said something that resonated with me deeply in light of the events in my life over the last couple of years. She wrote:

“One of my new mottoes has become: if I err, let me err on the side of belief. God looks on the heart. I’d rather Him see misguided actions from a believing heart than safe-and-sound actions from an unbelieving heart.” (pg. 203)

A couple of paragraphs later, Beth writes—and this is the part that really got to me:

“One of the inevitable questions each person challenged to believe God has to answer is whether she is willing to risk being wrong….One positive result of past failure is that you surrender the pursuit of perfection and, if you’ve gained any sense, replace it with the pursuit of God’s redemption. Nothing is more redemptive than faith in God. You learn that failure may be painful, but it’s rarely fatal. After coming to grips with the high premium God places on our faith, I refuse to give up a life practice of believing God just because I accidentally swerve off the road a few times in my faith journey. Hebrews 11:6 says that faith pleases God, not perfection.” (pg. 204, italics mine).

This is ministering to me even now as I am making it my life pursuit to believe God is who He says He is. I began praying several years about returning to the Northwest before actually leaving Nashville. In fact, I prayed seriously for two, and from the time I first announced it to a couple of close friends, it was still another seven months before I actually packed up and moved.

I had His blessing then and I have His blessing now. There have been some aspects of this transition that are proving to be considerably more difficult than I’d anticipated. Was I short sighted not to consider these obstacles? Not at all. I’d considered them and prayed through them. Did I think they’d be this difficult, though? Absolutely not. I couldn’t have known. If I’d known beforehand, would I have had the courage to move? Honestly, I don’t know. I’d like to think so. Especially considering everything I know about God. These trials are custom crafted and allowed to grow me into the woman God wants me to be. God’s good plans for me are different from His good plans for you. He loves us all the same. Perfectly.

But here’s the coolest part. I did move and I am here and I have the peace of God flowing through every ounce of my being. I’m believing God the best I know how and this is what makes Him smile. Faith in Him makes God smile. And I have to say, making the God of the Universe smile is an extraordinary thing to be able to do. Compared to Him, I am so tiny, He could squish me as an ant. Instead, He delights in me just because I want to believe Him. He’s not smiling because I’m doing everything right. Boy, am I glad of that!

Elizabeth Eliot is quoted frequently for her simple exhortation when in the throws of a difficult trial or overwhelming day: “Do the next thing.”

Sometimes we can feel stuck as a title wave of overwhelmingness washes over us. (Is that a word?). We can become paralyzed, thinking what do I do? What you do is simple. You do the next thing. Change the baby’s diaper, make the kids lunch, kiss your husband or wife good bye, fold the clothes, drive to work, mow the lawn, take out the trash, whatever it is, there is always the next thing. I’m comforted by this. I can do the next thing. For me, that is uploading this blog.

Blessings all today and may this be an absolutely terrific Monday. I’ve already decided it’s going to be a great day.

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:14-19 NIV)

*Believing God by Beth Moore. LifeWay Press, One Life-Way Plaza, Nashville, TN 37234-0175. ©2002

Friday already? Hey, I’ll take it. Allison, Terri, thanks for your encouraging comments. I love hearing from those of you reading. Please don’t be shy.

Well, here it is, seven days since writing last Friday about my particularly hard week. I shared with you Monday and Wednesday how God has ministered to me through His Word, through my times of prayer, and tremendously through friends both near and far.

Have circumstances changed since last Friday? That is for the better? Not at all. Actually, circumstances have heated up a little more in the last week, not less. But this doesn’t surprise me. Scripture lists many examples of life becoming more difficult not less, right before God does something big. For those of you who are not familiar with the story and even those of you who are, read Exodus 3-12. It’s a great read and replete with encouragement. I bet a week hasn’t gone by in months where I haven’t thought of some component of this story at least once.

Given that my circumstances haven’t changed, you might think I was asked, “What’s new?” I might say “Nothing.” or “Not much.”

Not so.

When asked this questions in good times, but especially in hard times, generally I’ll answer “Lots!” Some people get this surprised look on their faces, expecting I’m going to tell them about some new job, beau, upcoming vacation—something exciting. Sometimes I’ll qualify my answer, sometimes not. Depends if I’m asked.

Yes, “lots” has happened this week, but all on the inside of me. If you’ve been reading my blog, you knew by Monday’s entry I was already in a different place emotionally and spiritually than I had been only three days before. And today I’m yet in a different place than I was on Wednesday.

Yesterday a friend called to share some news with me. I listened intently. After she’d finished, she asked, “How are you?” Without a second’s thought, I launched into what the Lord was teaching me about Himself. I knew I felt passionate about all I shared but didn’t realize how much so until I finally stopped talking long enough to take a breath. She’s a good listener, plus she knew my whole purpose in sharing was not so much to talk about “the problem” but to brag on God for all He was teaching me.
We ended that phone call, praying for one another, thanking God for His faithfulness, and asking Him to work out each of our concerns. Sweetest hour of my day. Another gift from God.

You may have heard the expression, “What doesn’t kill you will make you grow.” Well, God certainly isn’t trying to kill His children, and so whatever He allows in our lives will not kill us but is designed to make us grow. But it doesn’t just stop there. God’s ultimate goal is not simply that I “grow” but that I grow in love for my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. The better I know Christ—and fact is, the most “efficient” way this happens is through trials—the more I will become like Him. And the more I become like Him, the more I will reflect His character. Others will see Christ in me (the goal) by the way I treat them. “They’ll know we are Christians by our love” I used to sing back in my high school youth group.

To say I’m not even close to where I want to be in respect to loving others is to state the obvious, but this is my desire.

Now I will not be disappointed when this trial is over. No way. If I can balance a megaphone in one hand while steering my bicycle, I’ll probably ride through the streets of Coeur d’ Alene, Idaho shouting, “It’s over, it’s over, yippee, hooray, the trial’s over. Praise the Lord!” But until that happens, whether today or some time from now, I don’t want to miss a single one of God’s purposes and blessings in the middle of it. This is not about me. It’s about God. Have you heard that? It’s true.

A final thought. Many of you may have been told over the years when facing a difficult crisis, “Wow, God must really have some special, important, big lesson to teach you.” I don’t know about you, but I’ve found such a statement hurtful, even insulting at times. Of course, God always wants to teach us, I’ve just said as much, but this is not the only reason for trials. The primary purpose of a trial is that God is glorified. He shows Himself off best when we’re the weakest.

Just as a jeweler will showcase a fine diamond on a black velvet background, God showcases Who He Is best against the backdrop of our weakness in various difficulties. When we are weak, God wants to show Himself strong. I know God is using my trial presently to encourage others in their walk with the Lord, some facing far more difficult trials than I. But see, this is not a contest—who has the worst trial.

We all have different thresholds for what we can handle based on a variety of factors, some which may be clear to us and those who love us, some known only to God. He absolutely will not give us more than we can handle and His grace is sufficient for whatever that trial is. Again, God wants to glorify Himself. He wants the world to see how real and big and wonderfully powerful He is in His strength and His love and His provision for those He created. I’ll never get it, but He loves to show His power through us through mere mortals.

So, if you’re facing some hard trial today, don’t think if you’ll just figure out this one lesson to be learned and then learn it well, the trial will end and you’ll advance to the next level. This is not some TV game show. This is my life, this is your life, and God doesn’t toy with our lives. He loves us. There is no “magic bullet” out of a trial. There is God’s grace and mercy and kindness and purpose through it all, though. “Just give me Jesus.” That’s what I want most of all.

Have a great weekend and I’ll see y’all back on Monday.

“Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.” (John 17:3 NIV)

“I don’t know all of those who are reading this, nor do you know me. But God knows each of our hearts intimately and I will be praying He whispers words of comfort to each of you in your struggles. Hold tight to Jesus and He will hold tight to you. He promised.” – ‘A’

Thank you for your encouraging words to us all. While “A” chooses to be incognito, she is my sweet writer friend from across country. Kjersten, buddy, hang in there. I know your life is so hard right now. I am so grateful you know Christ as you do. God is mindful of your sorrows and puts your tears in a bottle. That bottle is precious to Him.

Michelle, don’t know why the comment you posted “disappeared” before I had a chance to read it. Thanks for sharing your heart with me personally Monday night. To the rest of you who have sent comments to me privately over the last few days, thank you so much. God has been so gracious to me in so many ways even since Friday. Circumstances haven’t changed but He’s settled down my heart the way only He can do. I am awed and humbled by His kindness to me.

Only God could have orchestrated the circumstances in my life presently, and the lessons He’s been teaching me, to coincide with my Monday night Bible study—BELIEVING GOD by Beth Moore. How I’ve needed the sweet fellowship that transpires when women choose to study the Word together. I know you men have your own version, praise God. In light of what I shared in last Friday’s blog and God’s gracious TLC to me throughout the weekend, I want to share that His comfort seemed to culminate through the gathering of our study group on Monday. Or so I thought it had, until I just returned from breakfast with another Christian writing friend here in town. We talked and talked about God’s faithfulness to each of us and all He was doing in our lives.

Monday night, transitioning from a time of discussion to listening to Beth’s message, we had our usual brief time of prayer. So many ladies were struggling though, we prayed a little longer than time would normally allow. We each sensed God was doing something special and we didn’t want to miss it. How that time of prayer prepared our hearts, my heart perhaps most of all, to receive what God had to teach us. While the whole message seemed to be one of those designed “just for me,” there’s one simple but powerful point Beth made that struck me deeply:

Monday morning and I’m feeling refreshed. I spent a lot of time with the Lord in prayer and reading His Word this weekend. Receiving His comfort. I felt God’s tender care. He spoke to me in my heart—said He knew I was tired. He didn’t explain everything to me, and I didn’t need that anyway. What I did need was His assurance that all was okay even though it didn’t feel okay.

He did that. You might say God “kissed my heart.”

I spent a lot of time resting. Didn’t do any work. I made my bed, did a few dishes, but that’s all. I finished one novel and started another. Went to a movie yesterday. Took a nice walk last evening, rode my bike through the neighborhood on Saturday. Throughout the weekend, dear friends reminded me they were praying for me. One dear friend called from across county Friday night, though she was leaving on a mission trip early the next morning and still had much to do. We hadn’t talked for a couple of months and she wanted to touch base before she left. Out of all the days for her to call me! I told her how much it meant. A gift from my friend, a gift from God.

I’m learning a whole new level of trust. It’s not like it started yesterday, it’s just that it keeps going deeper and deeper. I’m learning to simply believe God. Take all He says at face value. I thought I was doing that before. And I was in some ways. But there’s always more. Being a Christian is about having a relationship with Jesus Christ, not a “religion.” And what dear relationship doesn’t grow sweeter and sweeter as the days and years go by? That’s what’s happening now. Just like a hard trial shared between husband and wife, or close friends can bind the two together, so these trials are causing me to draw closer to Christ. That’s just the way it works.

This weekend God spent a lot of time encouraging me in a lot of different ways. Circumstances haven’t changed but I have. And I have reason to suspect even my circumstances may change soon, but now it doesn’t matter as much. When I really get a glimpse that the God of the Universe loves me just because He does and there’s nothing I can do to change that, it sure makes me a little more secure.

Thinking about taking God at face value, I’ll close with this ridiculously simple illustration that God has gotten quite a lot of mileage out of lately:

A friend across town shoots me a quick email a couple of weeks ago mid-morning.

“Lunch?” (She’s a woman of few words sometimes).

“Sure,” I write back. “What time and where?”

“Olive Garden. 11:30.”

“Okay, see you there.”

I arrive at 11:30 and she’s seated sipping her coke. I expected her to be there. She said she would be. And for some reason if she didn’t show up, I wouldn’t be angry. I’d be concerned. I trust her because she has a proven track record that she’s a woman of her word.

So is God. I want to believe God the same way. About all things. Yes, it’s a process. And it takes some time. But I’m discovering something. The higher the stakes, the greater the potential for victory.

Honestly, folks, I don’t know how God does this. But somehow, some way, my heart is strengthened going into this week. All I can say is the comfort of Jesus Christ is a very real thing. Trust me.

Finally, to the one who posted a comment on Friday—you sound like you’re facing some pretty heavy trials right now. Please feel free to email me privately. I’ll love to hear from you.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
(Isaiah 41:29-31)